At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
