Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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