I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
