there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
