I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
