I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
