I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
