So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just invented taco cereal.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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