My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
