Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
