So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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