a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I can't put those talents on a resume
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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