Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
