Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
