New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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