u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
