we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
birth control should be required to get into college
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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