I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
