He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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