Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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