I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
