no you cant smoke seaweed
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
