I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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