So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
