Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
