Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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