Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
