Reggie can tackle my bush.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
