you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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