I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
