Dual....:-)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
