what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
