She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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