Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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