Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
