I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
