to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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