It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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