I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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