Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
