How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
