Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize