i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
