My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
