I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
