if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize