YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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