Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
