We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
