ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
